The Exhaustion Cure by Laura Stack

Author:Laura Stack
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780767930130
Publisher: Potter/Ten Speed/Harmony/Rodale
Published: 2008-05-12T16:00:00+00:00

ENERGY BANDIT #8 | An inability to say no

Realize that every time you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to another. There is always a trade-off or opportunity cost. You can’t be in two different places or do two different things at once. When you give your energy to one activity, you decrease the amount of energy (and time!) you can give to the other. Every time you say yes to one of the hundreds of daily urgent e-mails and phone calls, you are saying no to more family time. Other people will always try to place deadlines on you. If you don’t determine what you need to accomplish and how to spend your time, other people will be happy to do it for you. You will never be given an opportunity to say yes to something important—like getting a degree, going to the health club, or getting away for a vacation—unless you say no to other things. The local university is not going to call you and tell you to sign up for a class. The beach is not going to insist you book a vacation. Your health-club representative is not going to e-mail you and insist that you show up and work out for thirty minutes each day. You are going to have to create the space in your life to say yes to those things. Only you can learn to set boundaries and make time for what’s important.

ENERGY BOOSTER | Set limits and boundaries with others

Saying no is about setting healthy parameters for yourself and recognizing reality. It is about protecting your energy level, your overall productivity, your sanity, and your health. Accept your limitations and focus on what’s most important. When people try to spend too much of your time, you must say no to requests. Saying no is not the same as being rude. Saying no is not going to make you a bad parent. Saying no is not going to make you lose your job. Saying no will make others admire your strength, resolve, and commonsense practicality. Saying no is simply about acknowledging reality in a polite manner.

When the boss asks you if you can come in on Saturday to finish the quarterly report, reply with something akin to, “I have prior obligations, but I can definitely have it to you by noon on Monday.” The boss doesn’t have to know that “obligations” means playing with the kids at the beach. If you’re given a new project you can’t squeeze into your schedule, say, “I’m overcommitted right now; if I take this on, I’ll have to stop work on another project. What would you like me to put aside for now?”

It’s similar with family members. “Mom, can you give me a manicure tonight?” “I’ll tell you what. Although I can’t do that right now, I’ll give you a manicure and a pedicure Friday night after dinner. Then we can watch a movie of your choice while your nails dry. Does that

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